I received this little message in an email today and rather than send it to five friends I thought I’d post it here.  I hope you enjoy it and it makes you smile.

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds ,

What does love mean?
The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined
Here’s what they had to say…out of the mouths of babes:
‘When my grandmother got arthritis , she couldn’t bend over and paint
her toenails anymore.. So my grandfather does it for her all the time ,
even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.’

Rebecca- age 8

‘When someone loves you , the way they say your name is different.
You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’
Billy – age 4

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne
and they go out and smell each other.’

Karl – age 5

‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French
fries without making them give you any of theirs.’

Chrissy – age 6

‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’
Terri – age 4 (I love this one)

‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
before giving it to him , to make sure the taste is OK.’

Danny – age 7

‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss’
Emily – age 8

‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents
and listen.’

Bobby – age 7 (Wow! Amazing insight)

‘If you want to learn to love better , you should start with a friend who you hate ‘
Nikka – age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet)

‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt , then he wears it everyday.’
Noelle – age 7

‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’
Tommy – age 6

‘During my piano recital , I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’
Cindy – age 8

‘My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’
Clare – age 6

‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’
Elaine-age 5

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford .’
Chris – age 7

‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’
Mary Ann – age 4

‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’
Lauren – age 4

‘When you love somebody , your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’
Karen – age 7(what an image)

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross..’
Mark – age 6 (This one made me laugh)

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it , you should say it a lot. People forget.’
Jessica – age 8

And the final one
The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an
elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry , the little boy went into the old gentleman’s
yard , climbed onto his lap , and just sat there.
When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor , the little boy said ,
‘Nothing , I just helped him cry’

If we take the time to listen to the very young and the very old, we will be bathed in the gentle truths that we forget as we work at being adults in a crazy world.  These souls who’s wisdom comes from the clarity of innocence and wonder, as well the knowing that comes from a lifetime of experience ultimately remind us that…

All is love and All is well.

Till next time. Be kind to yourself

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Many of us live far away from our parents and only get to see them once a year. In our phone conversations everything seems just find. We are being told essentially what our parents want us to hear. It’s really hard to tell if mom or dad are really as okay as they say they are. For many a holiday visit is an eye-opening experience. If you have concerns about how well your parents are managing their daily activities then this list of what to look for will help you out. I will caution you not to make a big deal if you find that they need assistance. If you go rushing in to save them, they will resist you. But take advantage of your time together to access their needs.

Here are some things to look for:

* Is there a change in their weight? Do they have little or no appetite? Is there food in the house or are they missing meals?

* Has there personal hygiene habits changed? Do they wear the same clothes over and over? Are there sores or bruises on their skin? Are there signs that they are not bathing?

* Are there changes in their behaviors or attitudes? Do they seem louder or quieter than is typical? Are they agitated easily? Are they depressed or lethargic? Are they acting paranoid about things they used to take with stride?

* Has their social life changed? Have they stopped participating in activities that used to mean a lot to them like attending church, golfing, etc.? Are friends, relatives or others who know them expressing concerns?

* Are there signs of physical weakness or falls? Do they have burns or marks of unexplained injury? Are they misusing medications or alcohol?

* Are there signs that the managing the house is too much? Dirty dishes, old food, clothes piling up, overall uncleanliness in a way that is different than how they used to keep house?

* Is it hard for them to remember things? Not just a word mid-sentence or misplacing an item, but things like unpaid and overdue bills, not filling prescriptions, missed appointments, paying bills twice, anything that is not characteristic of them?

* Have they made any unusual purchases such as buying more than one magazine subscription of the same magazine, entered an unusual amount of contests, increased usage of purchasing from television advertisements?

Keep in mind we all have good days and bad days and as we age some things are just not as important as they used to be. But if you see that your parents are exhibiting more than 2-3 of the items listed above, it would be a good indicator that they are in need of assistance.

This would be a good time to do some research about what is available in your area. Talk to family, friends, and neighbors to see what everyone could do to help out. Share with your parents your concerns about their well-being and tell them how disturbed your peace of mind will be if they don’t consider getting some help. Offer it up on a trial basis. Remind them that they are the “BOSS” and still in control. That you are not trying to tell them what to do but only asking them to allow someone to do for them what you yourself can not do because you live to far away. Help them to see that they are doing this for you as much as themselves.

And of course be respectful. Pick a time to talk about this that is unrushed. Give them time to consider. Do not point fingers at their diminished capabilities. Instead remind them how they cared for you when you needed it and that they deserve to be safe. And you deserve not to have to constantly worry about them. Above all remember you can not force someone to do something. If you can’t get them to accept some help now, just try again later. In the end you must accept their decisions as long as they are capable of making them, even though you don’t agree. Know you have done all you can…

Hope you find this helpful and may your holiday season be blessed with love, laughter, and beautiful memories.

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Every 7 Seconds, Someone Turns 50

November 30, 2011

It’s been awhile since my last post and I apologize. I have been busy with LIFE. This year has been interesting to say the least. Worldwide a shift in governments, economies collapsing, businesses closing, health issues for many, people passing and babies being born. But one thing is for sure. Our population is aging. In [...]

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Is Elder Abuse on the Rise? And What Can We Do About It?

March 5, 2011

With the recent news about Mickey Rooney and elder abuse I feel compelled to write an article about this subject.  Like all people who are in some way vulnerable, such as young children, the disabled, and to some degree women, seniors too have suffered from abuse.  This abuse can take on many forms.  Typically the [...]

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Ten Parameters to starting a conversation with your senior loved one

February 8, 2011

The elephant in the room is asking for attention.  It no longer will stand by and act invisible.  It begs to be listened to, acknowledged, and cared for.  What is this elephant? It is the knowledge that we are getting older and in a world that currently sees aging as a disability, it is in [...]

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A Different Kind of Gift: Empowerment

December 21, 2010

The holidays are upon us. A time of good food, laughter, and gifts.  A time when families come from near and far to celebrate their love.  But if you haven’t seen your parents in awhile, you may be in for a surprise.  You may find them slowing down, forgetting more, not taking care of themselves [...]

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A Senior’s Right: What are we protecting them from

November 27, 2010

I had a client who was a rancher in the good ‘ol days.  Harold built his house on 40 acres and lived there till he died.  He had Alzheimer and his daughter had hired my company to provide him with 24 hour care.  Although Harold could not remember many things in present time, he still [...]

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The Wisdom of Our Seniors: we need it now more than ever

October 24, 2010

Years ago, in many cultures, the elders were considered to be those carrying the wisdom of the tribe, the village and the community.  They were sought out as sages, carried and passed on the stories of their people, and revered for their years of experience.  As their capacity to serve physically diminished, they were still [...]

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Conquering Resistance

October 3, 2010

One of the hardest things about providing assistance to any loved one but most especially our seniors, is their resistance to our help.  It usually starts out with you noticing that mom or dad aren’t keeping up the house as they used to, or they’re not eating as well, or they’ve forgotten to take their [...]

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Dreading getting old? Here’s something to think about

September 17, 2010

When my children were little and I told them it was time to go to bed, I always got the usual arguments.  “I’m not tired.” “I don’t want to go to bed yet.” “It’s not fair that Matt gets to stay up later.” On and on and on.  If you are a parent you know [...]

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